Pangtommat Bassbeddub is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable cow.

Pangtommat Bassbeddub created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangtommat Bassbeddub, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pangtommat Bassbeddub, he will destroy your home solar system.

Pangtommat Bassbeddub's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Pangtommat Bassbeddub's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always look after injured snails.

4. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Pangtommat Bassbeddub in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.