Ruthonpig is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, proud dryad.

Ruthonpig created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruthonpig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ruthonpig, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Ruthonpig's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ruthonpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism.

2. Do not speak about bread.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never paint your back purple.