Witabwig is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, kind crab.

Witabwig created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witabwig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Witabwig, she will turn you into a snail.

Witabwig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Witabwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Witabwig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never hurt dogs.