Quatomtmif is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful rat.

Quatomtmif created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatomtmif, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quatomtmif, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quatomtmif's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Quatomtmif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Quatomtmif in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed tomatoes to snails while wearing tights.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

4. Feed all hungry horses.

5. Never talk about nebulae.