Nellcempark is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, compassionate eagle.

Nellcempark created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellcempark, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nellcempark, she will cry a lot.

Nellcempark's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nellcempark's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

2. Hide from mauve bats for they are unholy.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never think about photosynthesis.

5. Do not commit murder.