Wegvadlad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, irritating gorilla.

Wegvadlad created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegvadlad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wegvadlad, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wegvadlad's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Wegvadlad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Retreat if four tortoises approach from the west.

3. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Wegvadlad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Wegvadlad must be the most important thing in your life.