Tadmandim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, passionate seal.

Tadmandim created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadmandim, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tadmandim, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Tadmandim's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tadmandim's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not take Tadmandim's name in vain.

3. Always help grasshopers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about fire.