Bonkrowtan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, awe-inspiring pigeon.

Bonkrowtan created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkrowtan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bonkrowtan, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bonkrowtan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bonkrowtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near horses while wearing red coats and balancing nine silicon spheres on your head.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not keep six mice in a large pit.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.