Ortdodnak is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, vain badger.

Ortdodnak created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortdodnak, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ortdodnak, he will turn you into a duck.

Ortdodnak's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Ortdodnak's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry badgers.

2. Never sprint in the presence of sharks.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ortdodnak.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.