Litfaggad Jigbestparkgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, omnipotent giraffe.

Litfaggad Jigbestparkgeb created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Litfaggad Jigbestparkgeb, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Litfaggad Jigbestparkgeb, he will be very unhappy.

Litfaggad Jigbestparkgeb's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Litfaggad Jigbestparkgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not take Litfaggad Jigbestparkgeb's name in vain.

3. Erect five lead sculptures of Litfaggad Jigbestparkgeb on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat carrots.

5. Learn four new languages a year.