Xenfidnab is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, competent cat.

Xenfidnab created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenfidnab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xenfidnab, she will manifest in front of you.

Xenfidnab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Xenfidnab's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think ill of sick snails.

3. Sharks are not to be trusted.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help sick ants.