Saspintig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous ferret.

Saspintig created everything that exists three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saspintig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Saspintig, it will turn you into a goat.

Saspintig's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Saspintig's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Saspintig loves frogs, so they must be respected.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not take Saspintig's name in vain.