Kamkomkim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, loving grasshopper.

Kamkomkim created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamkomkim, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kamkomkim, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kamkomkim's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Kamkomkim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Put Kamkomkim first in all things.

5. You must love Kamkomkim.