Haklarnbab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, sage owl.

Haklarnbab created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Haklarnbab, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Haklarnbab, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Haklarnbab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Haklarnbab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never hurt mites.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.