Cibpibvil Mumdumfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, intelligent finch.

Cibpibvil Mumdumfeb created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cibpibvil Mumdumfeb, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cibpibvil Mumdumfeb, he will turn you into a plant.

Cibpibvil Mumdumfeb's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Cibpibvil Mumdumfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Run away from blue bats, for they are unholy.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.