Bumfarpan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unfair fox.

Bumfarpan created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumfarpan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bumfarpan, it will ignore you.

Bumfarpan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bumfarpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Bumfarpan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Put Bumfarpan first in all things.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near sheep while wearing blue rings and balancing six silver spheres on your face.

5. Worship no other gods but Bumfarpan.