Tinligwad Carstipjan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, narcissistic warg.

Tinligwad Carstipjan created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinligwad Carstipjan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tinligwad Carstipjan, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tinligwad Carstipjan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tinligwad Carstipjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near ants while wearing purple corsets and balancing three carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near swans while wearing brown shoes.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never eat green fruit.