Narwotfab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, capable guinea pig.

Narwotfab created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Narwotfab, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Narwotfab, she will turn you into a tree.

Narwotfab's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Narwotfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. You must pray to Narwotfab seven times a day.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never talk about gravity near ducks while wearing yellow kilts.

5. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.