Spaggarvollist is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, conceited otter.

Spaggarvollist created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spaggarvollist, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Spaggarvollist, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Spaggarvollist's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Spaggarvollist's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never look in ponds.