Fabtonkarn is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, kind finch.

Fabtonkarn created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabtonkarn, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fabtonkarn, she will refuse to believe in you.

Fabtonkarn's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fabtonkarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sheep.

2. Never feed carrots to manatees while wearing cyan coats.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Do not eat peanuts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.