Sidtarplop is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, all-powerful giraffe.

Sidtarplop created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidtarplop, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sidtarplop, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sidtarplop's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Sidtarplop's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.