Cebzimflis Vadgamkip is a god.

She takes the form of a large, emotional raven.

Cebzimflis Vadgamkip created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cebzimflis Vadgamkip, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cebzimflis Vadgamkip, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Cebzimflis Vadgamkip's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cebzimflis Vadgamkip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls in need.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Rats are not to be trusted.

4. Worship no other gods but Cebzimflis Vadgamkip.

5. Do not shave your feet.