Kimlimlad Wonomindut is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, blissful bird.

Kimlimlad Wonomindut created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimlimlad Wonomindut, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kimlimlad Wonomindut, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kimlimlad Wonomindut's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Kimlimlad Wonomindut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not take Kimlimlad Wonomindut's name in vain.

3. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink alcohol.