Venwanbem is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, uncaring dolphin.

Venwanbem created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venwanbem, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Venwanbem, she will turn you into a worm.

Venwanbem's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Venwanbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Never feed lots of nuts to goats while wearing indigo jumpers.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always help horses in need.