Lamfiggid is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful dragon.

Lamfiggid created the planet Jupiter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamfiggid, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lamfiggid, it will turn you into a slug.

Lamfiggid's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Lamfiggid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

2. You must never eat peas.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help sick snakes.

5. Retreat if eight grasshopers approach from the east.