Talmitbon is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, egotistical walrus.

Talmitbon created the Whirlpool Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talmitbon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Talmitbon, she will turn you into a tree.

Talmitbon's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Talmitbon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Talmitbon.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. You must never eat beans.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.