Jopcipnutt Hamkamdid Venlap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sage deer.

Jopcipnutt Hamkamdid Venlap created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopcipnutt Hamkamdid Venlap, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jopcipnutt Hamkamdid Venlap, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Jopcipnutt Hamkamdid Venlap's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Jopcipnutt Hamkamdid Venlap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn great tits, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never hurt turtles.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Hide if seven snakes approach from the west.