Gemcusstan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, proud ferret.

Gemcusstan created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemcusstan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gemcusstan, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gemcusstan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gemcusstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never sit in the presence of voles.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed spinach to goats while wearing yellow stockings.