Hotzimgab is a god.
He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, prudent
narwhal.
Hotzimgab created life four quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Hotzimgab, he will laugh at you.
If you do not believe in
Hotzimgab, he will turn you into an amoeba.
Hotzimgab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.
Hotzimgab's Holy Commandments1. Erect six lead sculptures of Hotzimgab on top of important buildings.
2. Never wear skirts.
3. Do not covet oxen.
4. Always pray in complete darkness.
5. Put Hotzimgab first in all things.