Zagnarldib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish clam.

Zagnarldib created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagnarldib, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zagnarldib, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Zagnarldib's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Zagnarldib's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help swans in need.