Kikditlatflowpopmip is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, humane raccoon.

Kikditlatflowpopmip created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikditlatflowpopmip, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kikditlatflowpopmip, he will destroy your home solar system.

Kikditlatflowpopmip's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Kikditlatflowpopmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Kikditlatflowpopmip must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.