Yarlvedgeb is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable tortoise.

Yarlvedgeb created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Yarlvedgeb, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yarlvedgeb, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Yarlvedgeb's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Yarlvedgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Put Yarlvedgeb first in all things.

3. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Yarlvedgeb in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. You must love Yarlvedgeb.