Dogfabpod Mumgovwit is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, staggering penguin.

Dogfabpod Mumgovwit created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogfabpod Mumgovwit, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dogfabpod Mumgovwit, he will turn you into a rock.

Dogfabpod Mumgovwit's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Dogfabpod Mumgovwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill rats.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Run away from turquoise cats, for they are unholy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never paint your arms magenta.