Quartjanpib is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awesome zebra.

Quartjanpib created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartjanpib, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quartjanpib, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quartjanpib's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Quartjanpib's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never leap in the presence of rats.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Put Quartjanpib first in all things.

5. Run away if five bats approach from the east.