Kanweeyam is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, slow bear.

Kanweeyam created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanweeyam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kanweeyam, she will turn you into a dog.

Kanweeyam's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Kanweeyam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must love Kanweeyam.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kanweeyam.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always treat hamsters with great respect.