Jarnflatgab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, quiet wolf.

Jarnflatgab created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnflatgab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jarnflatgab, it will throw large rocks at you.

Jarnflatgab's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Jarnflatgab's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Do not chop down trees.