Abwapgunfobstragstragpodteen is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, humane whale.

Abwapgunfobstragstragpodteen created the Tadpole Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abwapgunfobstragstragpodteen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Abwapgunfobstragstragpodteen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Abwapgunfobstragstragpodteen's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Abwapgunfobstragstragpodteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near ants while wearing magenta jumpers.

4. Never feed pineapples to snakes while wearing stockings.

5. Always take life seriously.