Rullquagwab is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless whale.

Rullquagwab created the Milkyway three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rullquagwab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rullquagwab, he will turn you into a duck.

Rullquagwab's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Rullquagwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

4. You must pray to Rullquagwab four times a day.

5. Never talk about archaea.