Zogtoncum is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, astonishing finch.

Zogtoncum created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogtoncum, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zogtoncum, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Zogtoncum's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Zogtoncum's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Feed all hungry monkeys.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not drink alcohol.