Gudwigtaf Butjonkab Dadbinfas is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, strong hamster.

Gudwigtaf Butjonkab Dadbinfas created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudwigtaf Butjonkab Dadbinfas, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gudwigtaf Butjonkab Dadbinfas, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gudwigtaf Butjonkab Dadbinfas' most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gudwigtaf Butjonkab Dadbinfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never hop in the presence of tapirs.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Do not take Gudwigtaf Butjonkab Dadbinfas' name in vain.

5. Never think about black holes.