Baparnmis is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, boastful manatee.

Baparnmis created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baparnmis, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Baparnmis, she will boil you in a big pot.

Baparnmis' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Baparnmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick shrews.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. You must love Baparnmis.