Gumtenbad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, caring ant.

Gumtenbad created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumtenbad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gumtenbad, it will turn you into a tree.

Gumtenbad's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gumtenbad's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Always help badgers.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never leap in the presence of frogs.