Flaphogsad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tiresome aardvark.

Flaphogsad created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flaphogsad, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flaphogsad, it will turn you into a hamster.

Flaphogsad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Flaphogsad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flaphogsad.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always help snails in need.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.