Jonvedmit is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, loving bear.

Jonvedmit created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Jonvedmit, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jonvedmit, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jonvedmit's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Jonvedmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

5. Jonvedmit loves ants, so they must be honoured.