Bogtifmad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unjust goat.

Bogtifmad created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bogtifmad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bogtifmad, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bogtifmad's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bogtifmad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Never think about gravity near gulls while wearing brown boots and balancing three zinc spheres on your face.