Artbodaf is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, passionate giraffe.

Artbodaf created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Artbodaf, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Artbodaf, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Artbodaf's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Artbodaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Do not eat onions.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not keep six badgers in a large pit.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near snails while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing nine iron spheres on your face.