Jincamciss is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, quiet squid.

Jincamciss created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jincamciss, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jincamciss, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jincamciss' most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Jincamciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.