Tigtargdod is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, wise hare.

Tigtargdod created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigtargdod, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tigtargdod, he will come to you in dreams.

Tigtargdod's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tigtargdod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Never feed peanuts to nematodes while wearing purple rings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.