Quagmilhak is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, almighty dove.

Quagmilhak created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Quagmilhak, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quagmilhak, it will curse you with boils.

Quagmilhak's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Quagmilhak's Holy Commandments

1. Quagmilhak loves snails, so they must be respected.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about gravity near mice while wearing black jumpers and balancing six titanium spheres on your feet.

5. Quagmilhak must be the most important thing in your life.