Pasfunbit is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, proud goblin.

Pasfunbit created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasfunbit, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pasfunbit, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Pasfunbit's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Pasfunbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Pasfunbit on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat cucumbers.

4. Run away if three ducks approach from the east.

5. Never sing near turtles.